Family

is so important to me.
I miss my family so much. As dysfuntional as they are, i love them so much. Especially my dad. I really don't know why? I mean yeah he is my dad but he has never acted like a father in any way. Ha...but i just feel bad for him, he's so lonely. Even though he has done so much to hurt me and my mom and sister i still love him SO much. I don't know what it is about him. I think i was meant to be a daddys girl.. just never really had the chance.

I always used to hold my dads hands and then climb up him and do a flip, it was my favorite thing to do.I also used to hang onto his arm while he pulled up and i would just be hanging there. The other night i did both of those things to Jon, it reminded me of my dad and it meant a lot for some reason. Never did i feel like Jon was more of a dad to me until that night. . Jon does take a role in my life as being my father figure, and i love it so much. He really is protective of me and doesn't realize how much just caring for me, like he does, effects me. I love him.

I miss my mom too. She cracks me up all the time. I sometimes don't appreciate some things she does for me, i feel bad about it. She thinks i'm hilarious, it makes me feel good. Hah. She knows me so well too...and you wouldn't think she would because she hasn't been around a wholeee lot. But she knows me. I remember when i used to have to call and ask her if i would "like" some sort of food. This probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me...Oh well.

I love my family so much. Not just my mom and dad, everyone.My cousin kayla looks up to me more then anyone and i love it. She used to do everything i did and try to act like me and everything. I'm her number one hero..hah. No one makes me feel like she does. She makes me feel so good about myself just by the way she looks up to me.

I miss my grandma so much. She past away. We used to watch soap operas and game shows together, allllllll day long. And i would sit in the same chair as her even when i was older. She loves celine dion, jonny cash, and tom cruise(she wanted to marry him). haha. She used to make me tapioca pudding in wine glasses. She used to let me drive her little electric skooter thing around. She spoiled me so much. I love her.

I'm spending thanksgiving with my family, it will be weird with my mom not there...but i'll be okay. She doesn't get along with my family anyways....oh ell. All families have problems.

This is probably boring. Sorry.

Orlandooooooooooo tomorrow. YAY!